Are you wondering how to help someone with a gambling addiction?
Gambling disorder can often be a hidden struggle. Many affected individuals try to maintain a façade of normalcy while privately grappling with the compulsion to place bets or try their luck “just one more time.” For friends and family members watching this cycle unfold, it’s painful and frustrating, especially if you’re unsure how to help.
While professional intervention is often necessary, loved ones can play a crucial role in guiding someone toward understanding their problem, seeking treatment, and beginning the journey toward recovery. Below are some practical steps you can take to support a friend or family member dealing with a gambling addiction.
Recognizing the Signs of Gambling Disorder
Gambling in itself is not an unhealthy activity. Many people enjoy this pastime because of its rush of excitement and potential reward associated with winning. However, gambling can become addictive because it activates the brain’s reward system, releasing dopamine, a chemical responsible for feelings of pleasure. This can lead to a cycle where the person seeks out gambling to get the same rush.
So, how can you tell that your loved one is experiencing a true gambling disorder? Here are some of the telling signs to watch for:
- Preoccupation with gambling
- Gambling with larger amounts of money to get the same “rush”
- Unsuccessful attempts to stop or cut back
- Irritability or restlessness when attempting to quit
- Gambling to escape problems or improve mood
- Chasing losses
- Deceiving others about gambling habits
- Borrowing or stealing to fund gambling
- Risking relationships and opportunities
Next Steps: Helping Someone with a Gambling Problem
Supporting someone who struggles with gambling can feel overwhelming, but your care and involvement can make a real difference. The process requires patience, understanding, and preparation. While you cannot force someone to change, you can take meaningful steps that encourage them to recognize the problem and consider healthier choices.
The following strategies will help you approach the situation with empathy, clarity, and a focus on building trust.
1. Educate Yourself About Gambling Addiction
Before you attempt to offer support, it’s important to understand the nature of the condition. Gambling disorder is more than just a lack of self-control. It’s often linked to underlying psychological, emotional, and neurological issues. Spend some time reading reputable sources, such as websites run by mental health organizations or addiction support groups.
Understanding the signs (e.g., lying about gambling, chasing losses, prioritizing betting over responsibilities) and underlying causes can help you approach the conversation with empathy and knowledge. This knowledge and understanding help you recognize potentially triggering situations. For instance, knowing that anxiety can drive risky gambling behavior enables you to spot a moment that can drive gambling behavior.
2. Prepare Yourself Before Offering Help
Before approaching a loved one about their gambling issues, it’s essential to prepare yourself emotionally and mentally for such a conversation. It’s not easy to quit gambling, and recovery can pose many challenges. It can be filled with setbacks, moments of denial, and resistance. Setting realistic expectations is essential, as it will help you avoid frustration and maintain patience in your mission to help a loved one. Meaningful change often takes time, and your role is not to provide a quick solution but steady support and encouragement.
It’s especially important to learn the difference between supporting and enabling so as to provide a meaningful positive change. While support involves encouraging healthier habits and sharing resources, enabling, however, implies actions that can unintentionally prolong the addiction and exacerbate the issue.
Preparation for conversation is more than just learning how to help someone with a gambling addiction. You should also prepare for emotional challenges and setbacks. Talking about gambling addiction can be triggering and bring about defensiveness, shame, or anger. Understanding this possibility beforehand can help you remain calm and compassionate, even if your loved one pushes your suggestions back.
Ultimately, helping someone with a gambling addiction starts with preparing yourself. When you approach with genuine care, patience, and compassion, you’re more likely to build trust and create an atmosphere where your loved one feels safe enough to consider seeking professional help and striving for a change.
3. Choose the Right Time and Setting
When discussing a loved one’s gambling issues, timing and environment are also vital. Avoid mentioning it during heated moments, when emotions are running high. Wait instead for a calm, private moment. In such moments, your loved one is more likely to be receptive and less defensive. This approach creates space for honest conversation rather than sparking confrontation.
Always choose a setting that feels safe and free of distractions. Turn off electronic devices and avoid busy public places. Ensure privacy, as your loved one might feel embarrassed or exposed. The goal is to foster openness and trust, not to create a sense of shame or pressure. Finally, make sure there’s no time constraint so you both can talk freely and without rushing.
Approaching this difficult conversation carefully and thoughtfully highlights that your concern stems from care. It’s always a good idea to gently remind them that gambling addiction is dangerous, but recovery is possible with help.
4. Approach the Conversation with Compassion
When you’re considering how to help someone with a gambling addiction, remember that direct and nonjudgmental conversations can pave the way for recovery. Compassion should guide your words and actions. Avoid accusations or shaming, as these may only provoke defensiveness. A direct yet gentle approach can help get your message across and ensure you have a productive conversation. Speak calmly and let your tone show care rather than judgment.
Use “I” statements, such as “I’ve noticed you’ve been feeling stressed lately, and I’m worried about how much you’ve been gambling,” rather than “You’re ruining everything by gambling.” This is how you share your concerns without sounding accusatory. This approach keeps the focus on your observations rather than labeling your loved one’s character.
It’s crucial to avoid shaming, lecturing, or issuing ultimatums at the beginning, as these tactics may push the person further into denial or secrecy rather than helping them open up. Instead, highlight specific behaviors you’ve seen and the impact they’ve had. Ensure your loved one understands your support. Your goal is to let them know you’re on their side, not to place blame or induce guilt.
Leading with compassion and focusing on support creates space for honest dialogue. This caring approach increases the odds that your loved one will feel seen and understood. This makes them more willing to take the first steps toward recovery.
5. Handling Denial and Resistance
Typically, you will encounter denial and resistance when you attempt to assist someone struggling with gambling. Many people with addiction issues minimize and rationalize their behavior or insist they have things under control. Learning how to help someone with a gambling addiction means being ready for that. It’s important to stay calm and empathetic, rather than meeting denial with confrontation.
There are different effective strategies, and one of them implies gently pointing out patterns you’ve noticed without sounding judgmental or accusatory. For instance, you might say, “I’ve noticed that you have borrowed money several times this month, and I’m concerned about how your gambling habits may be affecting you.” Presenting facts instead of accusing your loved one reduces the likelihood of defensiveness.
Another strategy is validating their feelings, even if you disagree with their perspective or behavior. Statements like “I understand this is challenging to talk about” can make your loved one feel respected and heard. This approach is always a better idea than arguing or trying to “prove” they have a problem. The latter often backfires.
Regardless of the approach you choose, the most important thing is to keep the door open for future conversations. Ensure they know you’re available to talk whenever they’re ready. Although they may initially exhibit resistance, your patience and consistency could establish a foundation for their acceptance of support and assistance in the future. Remember, recovery is a process. Compassion during resistance can pave the way forward.
6. Encourage Professional Help
Knowing how to help someone with a gambling addiction often means guiding them toward effective professional assistance while offering your ongoing support.
Here are some ways to make this happen:
- Suggest therapy with experienced addiction-trained professionals who specialize in gambling behaviors.
- Explore evidence-based therapies such as cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), and motivational interviewing.
- Encourage joining groups can also offer community, understanding, and accountability.
- Offer your instrumental support, such as helping research treatment options, making phone calls, or even accompanying them to their first appointment.
While your support is invaluable, few people overcome gambling addiction without professional guidance. Professional support equips them with structured tools and strategies that friends and family alone cannot provide. Encourage them to seek help from qualified mental health professionals, such as therapists or counselors who specialize in addiction. Taking this step with care can significantly increase their chances of recovery.
If they’re reluctant, provide information—names of reputable clinics, online therapy options, or hotlines (like the National Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-GAMBLER)—to show that resources are readily available.
7. Help Identify Triggers and Alternatives
People with gambling addictions often have specific triggers – times of stress, boredom, loneliness, or even certain social settings that prompt the urge to gamble. You can assist by helping your loved one identify these triggers and brainstorming healthier alternatives. Various situations and emotions can be triggers. Stress after a tough day at work and feelings of loneliness are among the frequent triggers. Sometimes, even being in a familiar environment like a casino or bar can trigger gambling behavior.
Recognizing those critical moments that can result in gambling is the first step toward change. By helping your loved one identify their specific triggers, you empower them to stay present and interrupt the cycle before it takes hold of them.
Once you identify triggers, the next step is to replace gambling with healthier, more fulfilling activities. Redirection can be powerful, especially early in their attempt to break the habit.
- If anxiety or stress drives them into betting, suggest alternatives such as joining a fitness class, practicing yoga, or going for a walk together. Healthy daily habits can help reduce gambling urges.
- Similarly, if boredom is a trigger, encourage engaging with creative hobbies like cooking, painting, or learning a musical instrument.
- Finally, for those who feel alone or isolated, volunteering or joining community groups can provide a sense of connection and purpose, significantly reducing the risks of gambling.
Most importantly, offer to participate in the suggested activities with them. By participating together in a hobby class or planning regular social outings, you show support and make it easier to sustain new routines. With love, patience, and consistency, these alternative activities can gradually replace harmful habits and become a part fo a new lifestyle.
8. Offer Practical Support Without Enabling
In addition to providing emotional support, you can also offer practical and instrumental support. Practical help might include managing finances if your loved one agrees—holding onto credit cards, monitoring bank accounts, or creating a budget that reduces access to disposable funds. Furthermore, financial safeguards like setting up joint budgets, limiting access to large sums of money, or using prepaid cards can help control daily spending. These steps should reduce the possibilities of gambling while encouraging accountability.
However, be mindful of walking the line between support and enabling. It’s important to avoid rescuing them from every financial difficulty. Covering their gambling debts or repeatedly borrowing money may temporarily help them. However, it ultimately reinforces destructive behavior. Consistently bailing them out or ignoring harmful behavior can inadvertently sustain the cycle of addiction. Firm but compassionate boundaries are essential. Let them know you care and want to help but will not finance or participate in their gambling activities.
What helps you maintain the balance between providing support and expecting accountability are healthy boundaries. They play a crucial role in maintaining both your well-being and theirs. By clearly stating and demonstrating your boundaries, you are showing that your support is rooted in care, not control. Setting healthy limits prevents you from feeling overwhelmed and communicates to your loved one that personal responsibility is necessary for recovery, in addition to your encouragement.
9. Be Part of Their Recovery Plan
Even with well-thought-out plans, such as treatment programs for problem gambling and sports betting, recovery is rarely a straight path. Having supportive people for this journey can make a powerful difference. As a friend, partner, or family member, one of the most effective ways you can show your commitment to their well-being is by being actively present in their recovery and healing. This doesn’t mean controlling their recovery path, but rather being beside them as they work toward a better life.
You can offer to attend counseling sessions, participate in their support group meetings, or go to educational workshops together. Simply having someone by their side is an often underestimated form of support and one that makes the process less intimidating and more manageable. Additionally, regular check-ins (such as daily texts or weekly conversations) help maintain accountability but also give them space to share their progress and challenges openly, as well as small wins.
Celebrating milestones is another important part of encouragement. Remember to acknowledge their efforts when they meet their goals (e.g., going a week without gambling or opening up in therapy). Continuous small victories are what build momentum toward long-term recovery.
Knowing how to help someone with a gambling addiction can also mean helping them track progress over time. There are many options that encourage progress tracking, such as writing a journal, maintaining a calendar, or using a shared app to highlight how far they’ve come. This helps reinforce their motivation and keep them moving forward. Your consistent support will remind them they’re not alone on this healing journey.
10. Celebrate Small Successes and Maintain Patience
Recovery from gambling addiction is a process. It involves setbacks, relapses, and moments of self-doubt. Acknowledge any positive steps, no matter how small, as a sign of progress. If they’ve gone a week without placing a bet, celebrate that achievement. Your positive reinforcement can help maintain their motivation. Patience and understanding are critical; pushing too hard or becoming frustrated may strain your relationship and their willingness to seek help.
11. Encourage a Supportive Community
If you can, connect your loved one with others who understand what they’re going through. Support groups, both online and in person, provide empathy, shared experiences, and advice from people who’ve been there. Encouraging social activities that don’t involve gambling – like joining a book club, volunteering, or participating in group fitness – can foster healthier social connections and reduce the isolation that often feeds addiction.
12. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Supporting someone through addiction can be emotionally draining. Make sure you have your own support system – friends, family, or a therapist who can help you navigate the complexity of your emotions. Practicing self-care ensures you remain a stable, empathetic presence rather than someone who becomes overwhelmed, resentful, or emotionally exhausted.
Consider joining a support group. These groups are not exclusively for individuals facing gambling problems. Some are designed for loved ones of those struggling with addiction. These communities provide various forms of support, such as education, coping strategies, and, most importantly, reassurance that you’re not alone in your experience.
Go to therapy. Therapy can also be a safe space to process your emotions and prevent burnout that can accompany efforts to help a loved one out. East Point Behavioral Health employs a team of MA PGS Certified Specialists for problem gambling on our staff. These experts have unique training and certification that allow them to recognize gambling addiction among other disorders, such as mental health disorders and substance use disorders. They can also provide support and guidance for families and friends involved in recovery.
Finally, incorporate personal self-care practices, like exercise, journaling, meditation, or time spent on hobbies. These activities can help restore balance. Caring for your well-being is far from being selfish. It’s essential for sustaining long-term support and preventing burnout and resentment.
Gambling Disorder Treatment in Massachusetts
Helping someone with a gambling disorder is about more than simply stopping them from placing a bet. It involves understanding their struggle, encouraging professional help, and supporting lifestyle changes that can guide them toward recovery. Remember, gambling addiction is far more than a self-control issue. Patience, compassion, and informed guidance go a long way in helping your loved one understand that there is a path forward, one that leads away from gambling’s grip and toward a healthier, more balanced life.
East Point Behavioral Health offers treatment services for gambling addiction, and we can help your loved one get out of a gambling crisis. To learn more about our approach to treating gambling addiction, contact us today.
